note: comments don't work until i pay $$$.
feeling: meh hearing: cave in
this is fucking brain wash...
where is my inspiration?
where is my drive?
i don't really feel passionate about anything anymore.
well, that's not entirely true.
i has a good time wrecking a playstation last week trying to install a modchip.
i dove in and soldered joints for seven plus hours in a row, hitting points smaller than a millimeter across. it was fun and interesting and made me feel like i was getting something done...
until i desoldered an important component from the board and my heart just dropped.
man, was i pissed. at least i got to play paintball the next day and get a few new playstations from ebay with which to try again.
soon, i'll have it down to a science and will be doing it for others, so place your orders now.
it seems that hating my job is now part of my daily routine. great. too much repetition, not enough to feel passionate about. i am so far removed from the benefits of my actions that all i am doing is passing time between paychecks and not accomplishing anything i can feel good about.
maybe the west coast can unlock my dreams and revitalize my existence again.
love is bullshit.
i was thinking today about how i am probably destined to be stuck in the search for love instead of being stuck in love. that seems about right. getting love to stay close to me is like trying to carry water in my hands. friends tell me that settling is not for me and i deserve better than i've had...
the longer it's been since you've eaten, the better the food tastes.
even bad pizza is good pizza.
if i could make all my words count, i'd ditch numbers [edit: altogether] for sure. -cave in
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be destroyed by yourself - 2005-05-30