2004-10-13 - 11:35 p.m. The current mood of at

note: comments don't work until i pay $$$.

feeling: a little better now. hearing: family guy

ok, now you go.


begin quore--

and yes, i know that you cannot undo things that have been done, but i know that friends are able to forgive eachother and brush it off like adults instead of like high school teen drama. but if you want to hold grudges, it won't be the first time i lose someone i care about. and it wont be the first time that i feel awkward being around someone. and it wont be the first time where i kick myself in the ass for possibly fucking up. but i still will not understand and i will still be hurt, just as much as i can assume you will be.

--end quote

believe me, you've already been forgiven.

but forgiving and forgetting are two different animals.

and if you want to talk high school teen drama, let's talk about flaunting your new relationship in the face of an ex-lover.

is that high school enough for you?

how about doing it two weeks in a row?

how about that?

or what about doing that and then completely denying you have done anything wrong?

that would be high school enough.


or maybe being blatantly let down and disappointed by someone who claimed to care about you.

maybe, if you keep losing people you care about, it could be something wrong with you. maybe things you do. and yet you still remain in denial.

possibly fucking up?


you fucked up.

you fucked up a friendship.

you fucked up an interpersonal relationship.

you fucked up any trust or caring i ever had for you.

and you created a fucked up situation for everyone involved and everyone who has to be around the people involved.

so yes...

you fucked up.

and if you don't understand, let me spell it out for you:

for two weeks in a row, you proceeded to make the decisions that led to you and your new man engaging in sexual congress in what pretty much amounts to my bedroom, where i was obviously conscious and coherent.

that is petty, disrespectful, tasteless, tacky, and tactless.

believe me, if i wasn't hammered, i would have driven home so i didn't have to hear that shit.

i would have slept in the van, had it been open.

and as long as we're assuming here, i was forced to make the assumption that if i had fallen asleep, there would have been a great deal of loud and obnoxious sex.

now, i usually don't have a problem with displays of affection...

had it been anyone i hadn't had sex with, i would have just made a disgusting comment to make you both uncomfortable, but all i could do was face it and try to ignore it as it happened.

and up until that point, i had seriously considered you as a candidate for a relationship.

then, you decided to throw it in my face.

well, at least i don't have any kids to take care of or serious addictions or debt.

and if all i've lost from this shit is you as a friend, then i'm glad you've finally shown your true colors, and i an truly lucky.

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