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you don't know what love is... until you've learned the meaning of the blues...
just about to leave work to face a three day weekend.
mas drinking, probably.
anyway, it's been as good as can be expected lately...
just enough to keep me satiated, yet leaving me wanting more...
life, i mean.
i must confess that i am a classic hopeless romantic.
i don't mean to give anyone mixed signals, but if i think up something nice to say about a girl, i usually say it.
some may misinterpret as falling in love, but you would probably notice if i fell in love with you...
still, for now, i'm going to continue with my plans of experiencing all the wonderful things the earth has to offer instead of getting tied down to one person and deciding it's time to let opportunities pass me by.
i really need some mindless sex.
perhaps i need to go on a date...
i must continue to spread love to all that i can.
some people might get hurt...
i might get hurt.
i don't want to hurt anyone.
but if you can't get ever yourself and your past enough to realize that people are not possessions, maybe you deserve the grief you're giving yourself, and in fact, you're probably stupid because of it.
people are allowed to love.
you should probably hurry up and get over it.
i refuse to limit myself any longer.
seeing my x's with their new boos, whether having just met them or having known them for most of my life, is usually a little odd...
sometimes, it hurts.
that probably means you need to get up, get over it, and let go.
that's what i did.
i refuse to submit to conditions upon whom i can love.
that's not cool.
you can hit me all you want, i'm not going to fight back.
violence never solved anything.
it doesn't mean you're right.
it just means you can hit me.
maybe i need my ass kicked.
it's not going to wise me up any.
it's not going to effect the decisions i make.
you pretty much lost your right to say anything by completely remaining absent from my life.
it kind of sucks that i even have to write this, but i'm sure some people are childish enough to have problems with me following my heart.
there's a concept...
me, following my own heart.
i should get on that.
i've already taken steps in that directon.
i had a wonderful time sharing with anyone interested.
i look forward to more wonder.
it sucks to not know the facts.
it sucks to make them up in your head.
it sucks to have to face one of your best friends and one of your x's being together.
if you're not over her.
i've been there.
i got over it, and i'm stronger because of it.
you know what's a little rough?
one of your x's sleeping with all of your housemates.
you know what else is a little rough?
one of your x's sleeping with one of your best friends.
but wait, there's more!
ever accidentally overhear one of your x's having sex with someone who isn't you?
sometimes, you need something to smack you in the face so you can realize you're not over her and get your ass in gear and...
move the fuck on.
so no one can say shit until they've experienced what i have experienced.
no one can say shit until they've walked a mile in my shoes.
i love everyone.
i think it might be just about time to start showing it.
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be destroyed by yourself - 2005-05-30